Posted on Saturday, 4 February 2012

Doctor Who Abridged: The TV Movie

theillustriousmissjo:

Warning: spoilers for the movie obviously. And if you read this without having seen it and you think it’s bad, YEAH IT IS BUT WATCH IT ANYWAY BECAUSE IT IS AMAZING.

DOCTOR WHO: THE TV MOVIE (OR THE ENEMY WITHIN. OR PAUL MCGANN IS BEAUTIFUL OHMYGOD LOOK AT HIS ADORABLE FACE AND HIS VOICE IS MADE OF PURE SEX JESUS CHRIST WAS THERE ANYTHING ELSE IN THIS MOVIE)

Doctor: Hello I’m Paul McGann and my voice is made of pure sex.
Skaro: HELLO
Doctor: Wh— what the fuck. What the fuck is Skaro doing here. I blew it up during Remembrance of the Daleks. WHAT THE HELL BRO
Skaro: The Master is on trial here lol
Doctor: wat
Skaro: YEP also Dalek voices are weirdly high for some reason. Aaaanyway the Master is sentenced to death and shit and he wants you to take his ashes to Gallifrey. For some reason.
Doctor: Nononono back up. So the Master was on trial on the planet Skaro, which technically has been blown up, and not just on Gallifrey, which is… you know… his home planet. Plus, why would the Daleks want to put him on trial? Wouldn’t that be a job for the Time Lords? And how am I going to get his ashes from Skaro anyway, the Daleks hate my guts. IS THIS A TRAP. IS THAT WHAT THIS IS. I DON’T UNDERSTAND WHAT IS GOING ON
Skaro: Listen bro—
Doctor: AND WHY IS THAT PLANET TALKING TO ME
Skaro: dude
Doctor: AND WHAT ARE THOSE SNAKE EYES FLOATING IN SPACE
Master: Those are my eyes I MEAN I’M DEAD
Doctor: SINCE WHEN DO YOU HAVE SNAKE EYES
Master: …
Doctor: WE’RE NOT EVEN A MINUTE INTO THE MOVIE AND IT ALREADY DOESN’T MAKE SENSE
Opening credits: Yeah but look at these awesome opening credits

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173 notes

  1. chinychinchou reblogged this from queenmegmasters and added:
    THIS IS GOLDEN
  2. wert700 reblogged this from queenmegmasters
  3. casanswersdeansprayers reblogged this from queenmegmasters
  4. lunaire-time-lady reblogged this from queenmegmasters and added:
    number one reason...1996 movie. Actually,
  5. gallifreyan-gallimaufry reblogged this from queenmegmasters
  6. anaisforthewin reblogged this from anaisforthewin
  7. daystarsearcher reblogged this from queenmegmasters
  8. ravenskyewalker reblogged this from kricketune-cacophony and added:
    haaaaaaah. Yes, atrocious. But there’s an actual bit of accidental continuity, in that I suspect the Master’s cateyes...
  9. whyisstuffsoawesome reblogged this from queenmegmasters
  10. cobbledstories reblogged this from queenmegmasters and added:
    I just watched this movie. It’s fantastic. In a so-bad-it’s-good kind of way.
  11. hieroglyphical reblogged this from captain-rachel
  12. felhound reblogged this from universal-invariant and added:
    The best thing I have ever read. Characterisations are spot on. Though I think Skaro is my favourite.
  13. agriff11 reblogged this from universal-invariant
  14. universal-invariant reblogged this from queenmegmasters
  15. soulfulsam reblogged this from queenmegmasters
  16. stargazinglyssa reblogged this from timeywimeyhobbit
  17. valedecem reblogged this from timeywimeyhobbit and added:
    Also the Doctor has not the accent the others had ‘cuz in AMERICA people don’t care about Brit accents.
  18. fives-lapel reblogged this from queenmegmasters
  19. timeywimeyhobbit reblogged this from ptchew
  20. ptchew reblogged this from zagreuslivesamongthedead and added:
    HAHAHAHAHA, Thank you Kinsey for bringing this to my attention.
  21. zagreuslivesamongthedead reblogged this from zagreuslivesamongthedead
  22. chislarina reblogged this from queenmegmasters
  23. idobelieveinheroes reblogged this from queenmegmasters
  24. filiabelialis reblogged this from tenlittlebullets and added:
    Trade shoes with your neighbor, devise a way to make them fit perfectly. @caerdroia, I don’t know you but you seem...
  25. kawobunga-motherfuckers reblogged this from queenmegmasters and added:
    Guys how do I air
  26. dangerpro reblogged this from queenmegmasters
  27. freakism reblogged this from lydiabutz
  28. marieafterashley reblogged this from queenmegmasters and added:
    I was afraid I’d have to watch the movie. :P
  29. lynkhart reblogged this from queenmegmasters
  30. doctorsqueen reblogged this from queenmegmasters
  31. theunearthlyidiot reblogged this from lydiabutz